Ruinous decisions

So, ever since I was a wee little thing, I've been a blonde. I was whitest of white blonde when a toddler, and then right up until I was 20, I was still quite light-headed (haha) au naturale. I then decided to linger in my natural blondeness for my wedding, as I figured my natural colour would never 'date' and look awkwardly 'trendy' when viewed from 10 years distance. So, with the wedding all done, I was on the quest for a truly awesome peroxide white blonde look, ala Gwen Stefani, Marilyn Monroe, and numerous gorgeous fashion blog girls with impossibly white hair. I surmised that since I love my red lippie and liquid black eyeliner, it would the best look to experiment with!

So, a year and a half later, and amounts of money I do not even want to consider, I achieved the zenith of my quest; white blonde hair from tip to root, and relatively healthy too - considering the amount of bleach I had had subjected my poor follicles to.

You see, I'm quite 'safe' when it comes to hair length, due to a terrible short-hair experience in Year 8, so it is never shorter than shoulder blade length. And although I love to have fun with my wardrobe, because of my job, I can't be as adventurous as I'd like - so naturally, hair colour is my thing; the one aspect I can go crazy with and experiment with to my heart's content. And that is what I have done, but now suspect it was to no avail. For what is cool hair colour when the hair it sits upon is ruined?!

Two months ago, sick of the upkeep that goes along with white blonde hair (the roots, the toner, the treatments) I decided to swing in the opposite direction and do something spontaneous and head-turning; for the first time in my life, I became a brunette! Well, a half brunette anyway, as I went dark brown on top and then midway, the hair started to 'fade out' to an ashy blonde, ala Alice Dellal, albeit less grunge-y.

The process of getting the fade out was expensive and quite stressful for my hair, as they had to tease sections up and then colour the remainder of the section and so on. Fast forward a few weeks and I, fickle as always, wanted the blonde to now be red, it just wasn't workin' for me! But alas, no funds and no way was I going to convince hubby that I needed another roll of cash for another hair change (can't blame the guy!)

So imagine my surprise when a chance encounter with a friend of a friend afforded me the opportunity to get the blonde dyed red, for FREE, for a hair competition! Yay! All went well, the red looked great until.......dum dum dummmmmmm! ( Cue heavy piano chords )

The hairstyle for the photo shoot required masses of teasing, crimping, hairspray and more hairspray; end result? Broken hair all around the crown of my head, back of the neck and near the ears, meaning when my hair is left down, it looks quite thin and lacking the fullness I had before. The red started fading a few days later, and my hair is now positively dry and brittle. Nowhere near the grossness of some girls' who have straw-like locks, but bad enough when compared with my hair beforehand. I'm shattered and too embarassed to admit it to many people. The red is now more of a coppery-orange, which in itself is okay, but now I want to salvage my hair and cut a significant amount off and dye it all the one colour, a nice red/orange hue. If only, if only, if only.

What should I do? Chop? Keep soaking it in treatments?

I eventually do want to go back to my 'natural state' and be a blonde, and I'm convinced now it's really 'me' and so much easier, and the orangey/red hair is one step closer to that.