Friday, July 27, 2012

What is saving your life right now?

Sarah Bessey over at is asking her readers 'What is saving your life right now?' and I feel like I am in need of a whole lot of saving. I am quite resource-less at the moment, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. Physically I can bench-press more than I did last week, thanks to a new workout plan, but the rest? Oh man.

So I've decided to spill here on my oft-forgotten blog, whose posts probably aren't read by anyone other than a bored friend or random visitor.

So, to Sarah's question;

What is saving my life right now?

Th continued forgiveness of a husband who loves me despite all my flaws and my inability to deal with living with my family while we save for Europe.

Episodes of 'An Idiot Abroad' are saving me right now from going crazy and snapping at anyone and everyone and are taking my mind off the tense minefield that exists in the house at the moment.

Meeting Marcy and Laura and Janice and the ridiculously friendly people at a church nearby, people who ask to have coffee and look at me like they're really seeing me. Asking me questions that really sound like they want to know, they want to understand, they want to hear me.

My dreams of Barcelona and lazy mornings in Paris and gondola rides down the canals of Venice are saving me right now.

Emails to a rare friend, detailing the most mundane and ordinary of things.

The Jesus Prayer is saving me right now.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Neither the beginning, nor the end.....just the middle

It seems I am in the 'middle' of a lot of things all at once. We're in the middle of saving money for our Europe adventure. In the middle of figuring out where we belong in a faith community. In the middle of  our marriage, four years in, many, many more to go. In the middle of our housing situation, living with my parents. In the middle of life, of trying to live it well.

And in the very middle of a mini faith struggle  - so hard to pin down that I cannot lend words to it yet, which serves to confuse me even more. If anything, I can always lend words to what I am experiencing and being without that right now is so hilariously painful.

And yet. A book I'm reading says something about the middle being the time and place where things cannot be routine and habit and I do like that.

Also? Could there be anything more wonderful than receiving a present that so perfectly fits your personality? I am obsessed with my kindle/e-reader. I have thousands of books at my fingertips and I am in heaven.